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Fluffernutter for President 2012

February 11th, 2010 by Elizabeth Ross-Harrison

Who hasn’t had the ooey-gooey, sweet and salty goodness of a Fluffernutter sandwich? Even worse, who hasn’t heard of making a sandwich out of peanut butter and marshmallow creme? And why in the world would anyone suggest that we elect a sandwich for president?

For months now we have been bombarded with commentaries from political pundits from all points of the political spectrum bemoaning the counter-productive nature of highly polarizing politicking. (Whew! Good thing I’m just writing this! Would hate to say that one a few times fast!) The left is calling the right the party of “no”, and the right is calling the left the party of “we don’t give a damn what you think.” So where does that leave what used to be the vast majority of Americans that happen to fall somewhere in between? For that matter, where does that leave Americans in general? Screwed!

If only we could find a presidential candidate that was just like a Fluffernutter sandwich! Wouldn’t it be great if we could find just one person willing to run on the concept that we need to get something – ANYTHING – done in Washington?

That perfect little sandwich satisfies cravings for both salty and sweet, and holds everything together with ease. Too bad we can’t have someone that takes what we want the most from both sides, and put them together in one package. If many of us are supposedly not from the radical fringe of either the left or the right, why can’t we get this?

We aren’t loud enough. We aren’t sexy enough. We don’t have juicy enough scandals. Most importantly, we aren’t newsworthy. Yep. Sad but true. If you don’t curl the toes of one of the news networks’ political anchors, or you don’t give a political reporter wet dreams, you don’t matter (except when you’re included in the unending poll statistics, but then you’re just a number.) Middle of the road is boring…. like a Fluffernutter sandwich, at least when you compare it to surf n’ turf at the best restaurant in town.

It’s a vicious cycle, and we’re the ones that keep the wheel turning. We want those juicy stories, we relish the arguments (even when we end up complaining about nothing getting done because of them), and we keep supporting people we know deep down inside that we wouldn’t want to invite to dinner in our homes. Why? Because the political pundits say they’re great (or awful), or our chosen parties say we must if we are going to be good party members.

So how does it stop? It’s not easy, but it is simple. Stop it. Stop blindly supporting candidates. Stop saying what you think you’re supposed to say when you happen to be called by a pollster. Stop overlooking those little things you disapprove of in candidates. Stop voting straight ticket purely out of loyalty to your party, even when you think that another candidate is more qualified to do the job. Stop thinking that a good politician is one that manages to get the government to give you lots of things. Stop thinking that the government is there to take care of you. Stop putting politicians on pedestals. And finally, stop thinking that the government is anything but a group of organizations that are meant to do specific jobs for the public – that the public is the boss. It’s all a Fluffernutter sandwich, meant to hold it all together, and have a little bit of something for everyone – but not necessarily everything everyone wants. After all, we don’t always crave both sweet and salty at the same time!

*Disclaimer: This was the direct result of off the wall conversation on Daily Kos with Fedorko, here. Just shows where talk of Lay’s potato chips, Jose Ole, and Crocodile Dundee can lead!

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